Polyamory on an Enlightened Planet

Earth is far from enlightened.  I would guess that maybe one in a million people are enlightened...one in a million minds is no longer self-sabotaging with attachment to external events.

I have a strong sense of what an enlightened planet would feel like.  Perhaps in a previous life I lived on such a planet.  Or maybe it's the lingering residual DNA memory of living on a pre-agricultural, pre-marriage, pre-ownership earth.  Whatever it is, the vision is strong within me, and I can see our species heading in the right direction.

The one message I would like to share with every human on the planet is that not only does attachment lead to suffering, but we can no longer exclude romantic relationships from this wisdom if we prefer peace.  In other words, if you have become non-attached in relation to material things and so forth, that's a good start...but if your happiness is still dependent upon the choices of others, you will suffer.

Even if your lover "behaves" as you would prefer, then you will still suffer because you know that love is not about behaving according to rules.  Only by releasing the concept of ownership and discarding labels such as "my wife...my husband...my primary...my secondary" can we allow ourselves and others to be seen in an authentic light.

Much of what currently passes for polyamory still operates within the confines of following rules.  Many who are no longer in monogamous arrangements are still trying to maintain a certain relationship "form" such as a triad, quad, etc.  Additionally, there are a large number of people who consider themselves poly who place limitations on the gender of the people who their partner(s) are able to love.  None of these restrictions have anything to do with love.  They are simply fear-based attempts to minimize loss, and preserve attachments.

On an enlightened planet there would be no fear because everyone would know they are whole.  Each individual would recognize that love and sex are enhancements to life, but not necessary for peace.  Nobody would be interested in trying to control another person because even if they achieved "success" by controlling another, damage would be done because limiting free will only perpetuates fear and suppression.

An enlightened planet would remove love and sex from the legal realm.  We would no longer be forced to choose a "special one" for reasons related to taxes or insurance.  By removing our romantic feelings from the realm of societal law, there would be no need to spend energy creating hierarchy amongst those we love.  We would simply feel what we feel in the moment, without needing to make anyone "less than" another.

When we are enlightened we'll understand that what another person feels in their heart, or chooses to do with their body, need not throw us into a frenzy since we will know we are fine with a solidity that can't be shaken.

We will no longer have our minds saturated with morality plays disguised as "entertainment" in which characters are taught that loving more than one person is "bad behavior" that always ends up in pain.

We will allow another to leave if that is in their best interest.  With a level of empathy that goes beyond selfish preferences, we will understand that we are not a perfect match for every person we find desirable.  We will trust that if a relationship ends it is ultimately for the good of both people because more perfect lessons await.

Once we are enlightened we will begin to shift our focus from basic survival to enhancing the planet (and beyond) with creativity and wisdom.  We will realize that our true nature is bliss, and all the needless suffering that we created in the past was simply to understand who we are not...leading to better knowing who we truly are.

So how do we reach such an enlightened world?  How do we free ourselves from the tyranny of attachment to the choices of others?

The answer is to practice...beginning right now...in all of our relationships.  We practice until our mind is aligned with peace, and it becomes clear that releasing control is the only sensible way to live...the only sensible way to love.

Peace,
Chris

Check out Chris's (pen name, Mystic Life's) book Spiritual Polyamory.

Intuitive Guidance - Ethical Sites at LiveReaders.com

My Review of "A Conversation with Eckhart Tolle and Deepak Chopra"

I decided to review the downloadable video "A Conversation with Eckhart Tolle and Deepak Chopra" because I was unable to find any reviews while trying to decide whether or not it would be worth $19.95.  After going ahead and checking it out before hearing anyone else's opinion, I don't believe it is worth the cost...and I will share how I came to that opinion.

As an aside, I don't know why spiritual teachers who are extremely wealthy don't simply upload their work to YouTube so everyone can view it for free.  It strikes me as somewhat hypocritical since part of Eckhart Tolle's presentation was denouncing the search for happiness through materialism.  I personally believe it would be more in balance if they charged people who attended their live events, then made the material free to the public on the web.  With such an approach they could still cover their expenses, and share their ideas with those who wouldn't be willing to pay $19.95.

Several days ago (while trying to figure out if I wanted to watch this video) I did a "Yes or No?" reading on an app I designed called the "Mystic Life Oracle" which is a free download for Android devices.  It replied "No" but since I was so curious about how these two teachers would converse, I ignored my own divination.

I downloaded the highest quality version of the video available for Windows, and found it shockingly poor.  It looked like it was filmed on a cheap 1990's standard definition camcorder.  Even when I reduced the size of the video's screen to half the width/height of my laptop, it still looked fuzzy.  Additionally, there were around ten or so instances of horrendous audio interruptions such as static, silence, random voices and interruptions.  I used to participate in Public Access TV during college, and even then never saw such poor production values.  Before making this video available for download, they should have admitted to themselves how awful it turned out, and made it available for free.

The total length of this video is 1 hour and 50 minutes.  This event was advertised as the first conversation between Deepak Chopra and Eckhart Tolle, thus piquing the interest of many people such as myself who wanted to see how these two popular spiritual teachers would interact with each other.  All things considered, they didn't.  That's right...they didn't interact with each other to any significant degree.  Out of the entire presentation, there were only a few minutes of what could loosely be called "conversation."

The video begins with Eckhart Tolle doing what he does, calmly bringing people into the present.  I falsely assumed that after five or ten minutes, Deepak would join him on stage.  However, Deepak didn't come out until 29 minutes into the presentation.  And when he did arrive, Eckhart left the stage!  "Why call this a conversation?" I wondered.

Deepak did his thing for over half an hour before Eckhart returned to the stage.  At that point, Deepak read questions people had posted for them on Facebook, and Eckhart answered, with Deepak chiming in now and then.  Some of this was interesting...but not much.  If you're already familiar with their teachings, you're not going to gain any significant new insights from this presentation.

Around 1 hour and 27 minutes into the video, Wayne Dyer joined them on stage from the audience where he had been sitting.  If you've ever seen a PBS pledge drive you're probably familiar with him.  I was not thrilled to see someone else join them because I still wanted to see Deepak and Eckhart chat with each other.  I eventually came to the conclusion that conversation is largely about discovery...and since Chopra and Tolle know who they are, there didn't appear to be much authentic motivation for discussion.

I feel that this presentation was falsely advertised because it was ultimately not a conversation.  It was essentially three separate presentations by Tolle, Deepak and Dyer.  To his credit, Dyer brought some warmth, love and humanity to the stage.  He seemed to express his ideas from the heart, and made the video more watchable.

Although I can't recommend this video, if you have money to burn, you may find something within it useful, and can purchase it here.  The thing about learning spiritual concepts such as not identifying with one's thoughts is that it is helpful to hear these ideas repeatedly to break our neural patterns.  Although you can probably get the same information from these teachers for free on YouTube, you may still enjoy this presentation if you are a big fan of these teachers' work.

Peace,
Chris

Intuitive Guidance - Ethical Sites at LiveReaders.com

Check out Chris's (pen name, Mystic Life's) book Spiritual Polyamory.

The Most Challenging Part of Being Sensitive (and How to Handle It)

It is estimated that about 20% of the population are Highly Sensitive People (HSPs).  I believe that this percentage is growing, and will continue to expand as our species moves out of survival mode into a more empathic, spiritual existence.  A conscious world benefits from more sensitive beings as they are able to tune in to subtle dynamics that help direct us towards greater evolution.

Those who are sensitive know that it can feel very challenging at times.  I have come to believe, as an HSP myself, that the most challenging aspect of being sensitive is when you're in some kind of emotional pain and it feels like that is all that is real.

People who are more armored can move through various life challenges without feeling significantly affected by them.  HSPs, however, can be "thrown off" by stressors that arise to the point of feeling almost paralyzed.  Earlier today I was in a negative, highly uncomfortable space due to feeling conflicted about a choice I had to make about someone who wanted to re-enter my life.

While I was in the midst of my stress, my body felt extremely tense, and I noticed I was feeling that this was all that was (or would be) real in my life.  In other words, I lost track of the future.  I was disconnected from the wisdom, "This too shall pass."

I realized that this often happens when I'm feeling overwhelmed.  I understood that the "magnification" of the stress created by being sensitive clouded out all other aspects of my life.  It led to thoughts such as "life sucks" and "it's all bullshit" and other negative perspectives.  My intensified state of awareness of being distraught helped illuminate the importance of remembering that events come and go, and that stress eventually subsides.

The way I handled the situation and returned to a calm state is something I wanted to pass along in case it helps other HSPs.  It can be difficult to remember solutions when you're in "fight or flight" mode, but with repeated practice we can stay connected to our higher awareness.

First of all, I realized I needed to eat.  Sometimes I ignore this fact because mini-fasting can give me a spiritual high, helping me become attuned.  However, if a stressful situation arises, being hungry throws off everything.  So the first thing I recommend is to "check in" with your stomach to feel if it is asking to be fed.

Secondly, I decided to go into my discomfort.  Instead of fighting against it, I went into it more deeply, and let my body "inform me" regarding the choice I had to made.  I realized that the core issue was that although part of me feels obliged to "be friends" with people who want to be a part of my life, I sometimes would rather not invest the energy if I don't feel a congruent connection.  This inner conflict is a recurring battle between what my ego says I "should" do as a spiritual person vs. how I actually feel.  Even though I was stressed out, my inner guidance told me, "Listen to your body."  And when I did listen, it was clear that a boundary was what I wanted more than reconnecting with this person from my past.

If I had run from my discomfort and taken a sedative, or drank alcohol, or tried some other escape, I would have been avoiding the growth lesson.  This is why I recommend that when pain arises it is best to feel it, surrender, and let it teach us whatever we need to learn.

As much as it hurts sometimes to feel things so strongly, our body is always an amazing teacher.  Even if we aren't in the mood for lessons, sometimes they still want to come through.  When something intense arises it is best to listen with humility, and keep in mind that the discomfort will not last forever.

Peace,
Chris

Intuitive Guidance - Ethical Sites at LiveReaders.com

Check out Chris's (pen name, Mystic Life's) book Spiritual Polyamory.

The Pros and Cons of a Million Online Healers

Many people who have done work on themselves (in terms of personal and spiritual growth) feel a great desire to help others, and share what they've learned.  The presence of the web has allowed them to do so much easier than ever before.  They (myself included) are able to share inspirational posts, blog, make videos, and interact directly with those who are looking for ways to heal.

Although many still hope for the appearance (or return) of a singular Messiah figure, it makes sense that it will take millions of lightworkers to help change the world.  Eckhart Tolle has spoken of how one of the downsides of becoming famous is that he can no longer respond to everyone who contacts him.  He simply doesn't have the time.  So unless some new Messiah has Santa Claus-esque abilities to visit millions of people simultaneously, the world will require an enormous number of healers.

I used to work as a therapist, during which my spiritual awakening emerged.  It was fascinating to attempt to blend the realms of psychology and spirituality.  Psychology is largely linear, diagnosis-oriented, and stems from the Western medicine model, while spiritual healing can (and does) include almost any teaching one can imagine.  The former is highly regulated, the latter is open to everyone.  After participating in at least one of these two realms for fifteen years, I would like to explore the pros and cons of there being so many people on the web who feel called to serve others.  I'll begin with the negatives, so that I may end with the positives...

Cons

Prophets for Profit

Many healers would rather serve others in exchange for money than do traditional work.  Healers tend to be sensitive to energy, and find most work environments abrasive.  I personally don't think it's "wrong" to charge money for your services, but I do believe that it can lead to problems.

If someone is motivated by income they may be less likely to re-examine their beliefs, or continue to work on themselves.  If you feel as though you have to be "on top of things" to be worthy of your fee, you might proselytize your perspectives a little bit louder, and suppress any difficulties you experience for fear that people might not pay you if you're also suffering.  This can lead to an increase in the prevalence of "wounded healers" who would benefit from more personal healing before they're ready to help others.

Personally, I've been able to create work that allows me the free time to help others without charging them money.  I prefer this approach because I believe people find it more healing to know that I'm helping them because I want to be of service, and am not just doing it for the money.  I also feel it allows me to more easily "let go" if someone I'm trying to assist and I don't experience flow.  If I had financial problems and charged for my assistance, I might be more likely to continue on with people with whom I don't have a connection when it would be better for both of us to let them find another healer.

Striving for Influence

It is easy to slip into an ego-based attachment to the quantitative impact of one's influence.  I've had many interactions online that are quite non-contactful because myself and the other healer are not really interested in each other as human beings so much as "mutual opportunities to spread influence."

The web, in its infancy, seemed like an exciting place to meet new people from all over the world.  However, if one is attached to creating more influence, the people we meet can become simply a means to an end.  This feels rather sterile and leads us to have a thousand "friends" while feeling isolated due to not enough authentic contact.  The key, I believe, is to not care so much about how many people know who we are, but whether or not we are interacting genuinely with whatever number of people are in our lives.

Pros

Diversity is a Many Splendored Thing

With a million or more people in the world who are consciously helping others, it increases the likelihood of a seeker finding a good "match."  In the pre-web era, you may have been limited to a handful of local counselors, and might not have had a good connection with any of them.  When you look around online you find a cornucopia of perspectives, and have a much easier time finding someone who "speaks to you."

There may be an egotistical side to healers in that we want to believe we can help absolutely anyone who contacts us, but wise teachers know there is an alchemy between what someone is looking for and what we have to offer.  Healing is not a matter of "one size fits all" (though many may attempt to present their ideas in such a light).  There are many ways we can suffer, and being able to search through a variety of healers allows us to find someone who truly "gets" what we're going through.

Emerging Fresh Ideas

There may be a tendency within us to want to find some "book of truth" that will answer all of our questions, and give us clear guidance no matter what challenges arise.  Nevertheless, life is rather complex, and our diverse issues require many different solutions.  Although there are some who believe that the solutions to all of the world's problems were solved thousands of years ago and recorded in infallible books, the world and the problems of its inhabitants are always changing.  A variety of people with new ideas entering the healer realm allows for fresh perspectives that are needed in an ever-evolving world.

I have heard it said that a true teacher wants their student to surpass them.  You can identify a teacher who is stuck in ego by their lack of willingness to hear the opinions of others.  If you think you have it all figured out, there is a good chance that your ego is in control.  When I see the perspectives of other healers, I want to be challenged to look at life in a new light.  I usually don't want to hear cliched or archaic perspectives.  I want my mind to be expanded.  The wide world of web healers, through its lack of "traditional testing and standards" allows for greater quantum leaps in understanding.  By comparison, counseling programs tend to teach material that is at least one or two decades old because it is "accepted" and non-threatening.  The web may offer a lot of dirt through which we need to dig...but it also allows for the occasional gems to shine through.

Peace,
Chris

Intuitive Guidance - Ethical Sites at LiveReaders.com

Check out Chris's (pen name, Mystic Life's) book Spiritual Polyamory.

Why I No Longer Watch "Celebrity Apprentice"

I tried to watch this season's All-Star Celebrity Apprentice, but couldn't get through more than one episode.  There are certainly plenty of reasons to not watch Celebrity Apprentice, (All-Star or No All-Star).  I will share my reasons below.

But first, why would I watch such a horrible show in the first place?  What was I thinking?  Well, as an entrepreneur I often enjoy programs about business and innovation.  Two shows that I watch (assuming they're still on the air) are Shark Tank and Invention USA because I find them both entertaining and creatively stimulating.

When Celebrity Apprentice was pre-Celebrity, it was a fairly interesting show about business people competing for a job.  And although it might be hard to imagine a challenge involving selling lemonade being applicable to my real life business pursuits, there were actually one or two times that an episode spawned a fresh idea.

The post-Celebrity turning point in the series, I believe, was the infamous Meat Loaf vs. Gary Busey conflict.  At that point, it became clear that this show was about manufacturing conflict.  By putting people in stressful situations in which tasks are difficult to complete on time, the hope is that conflict will arise...and it almost always does.  Seeing "normal" people argue is mildly amusing to the masses, but celebrity conflict...now that really gets a lot of people excited!

There was a time, one or two seasons ago, that I stopped watching the show because of Trump's obnoxious assertions that President Obama wasn't born in the United States.  I didn't feel like I was missing out on much since then, but with two of my favorite shows ending this season (30 Rock and The Office), my DVR was begging for fodder...so I decided to try All-Star Celebrity Apprentice.  I told myself, "Well, if I knew the political views of everyone it would probably eliminate most of what I watch or read."  I was clearly looking for a justification to appease my guilt since I have little respect for Donald Trump, an insecure man who resonates of ego and compensation.

As I checked my cable listings to find the first episode I was disappointed to see that this show was once again 2 hours long.  I find this inexplicable.  An hour would be reasonable...perhaps 90 minutes at the most...but 2 hours implies that an episode of Celebrity Apprentice contains as much entertainment as a full length feature film!  It does not.

I found that nearly half of the first episode took place in the boardroom, watching Trump, his daughter Ivanka, and Piers Morgan try to "stir things up" among the contestants.  This could've easily been edited to under 15 minutes.  It was disturbingly drawn out as if they "had to" fill space.

During the competition portion of the program I was reminded how mind-numbingly dull it is to see how the celebrity version of this program is so frequently about how many wealthy friends the contestants can contact.  This removes the element that I enjoyed from the original series:  business creativity towards the goal of increasing sales.  In this season, Trace Adkins said that the quality of the food they were making wouldn't matter...that it's all about getting donations...and he was absolutely right.

When the 2 hours (actually a bit less, considering my frequent use of the fast-forward button) were over, I tuned in to my body.  I noticed that I felt gross...like I wanted to take a shower.  Exposing myself to so much petty conflict and ego left me feeling worse than I felt before watching the show.  I see my body as a barometer that guides me in the right direction...and it was clearly time to stop watching Celebrity Apprentice, which clearly beckons to the lowest impulses within us all.

That was about 2 or 3 weeks ago...and I've not had a moment of regret since parting ways.

Peace,
Chris

Intuitive Guidance - Ethical Sites at LiveReaders.com

Check out Chris's (pen name, Mystic Life's) book Spiritual Polyamory.